The Two Gentlemen of Verona

 

ACT II SCENE V	The same. A street.
[Enter SPEED and LAUNCE severally]
SPEED	Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan!
LAUNCE	Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not
	welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never
	undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a
	place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess	5
	say ‘Welcome!’
SPEED	Come on, you madcap, I’ll to the alehouse with you
	presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou
	shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how
	did thy master part with Madam Julia?	10
LAUNCE	Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very
	fairly in jest.
SPEED	But shall she marry him?
LAUNCE	No.
SPEED	How then? shall he marry her?	15
LAUNCE	No, neither.
SPEED	What, are they broken?
LAUNCE	No, they are both as whole as a fish.
SPEED	Why, then, how stands the matter with them?
LAUNCE	Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it	20
	stands well with her.
SPEED	What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
LAUNCE	What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My
	staff understands me.
SPEED	What thou sayest?	25
LAUNCE	Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I’ll but lean,
	and my staff understands me.
SPEED	It stands under thee, indeed.
LAUNCE	Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
SPEED	But tell me true, will’t be a match?	30
LAUNCE	Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! if he say no,
	it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
SPEED	The conclusion is then that it will.
LAUNCE	Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
SPEED	‘Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest	35
	thou, that my master is become a notable lover?
LAUNCE	I never knew him otherwise.
SPEED	Than how?
LAUNCE	A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be.
SPEED	Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me.	40
LAUNCE	Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master.
SPEED	I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
LAUNCE	Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself
	in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse;
	if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the	45
	name of a Christian.
SPEED	Why?
LAUNCE	Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to
	go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
SPEED	At thy service.	50
[Exeunt]

Next: The Two Gentlemen of Verona, Act 2, Scene 6
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Explanatory notes for Act 2, Scene 5
From The Two Gentlemen of Verona. Ed. Israel Gollancz. New York: University Society.

38, 39. how sayest thou:- That is, “What say’st thou to this circumstance?” So in Macbeth, III. iv.: “How say’st thou, that Macduff denies his person at our great bidding?”

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How to cite the explanatory notes:
Shakespeare, William. The Two Gentlemen of Verona. Ed. Israel Gollancz. New York: University Society, 1901.