The Two Gentlemen of Verona
| ACT II SCENE V | The same. A street. | |
| [Enter SPEED and LAUNCE severally] | ||
| SPEED | Launce! by mine honesty, welcome to Milan! | |
| LAUNCE | Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not | |
| welcome. I reckon this always, that a man is never | ||
| undone till he be hanged, nor never welcome to a | ||
| place till some certain shot be paid and the hostess | 5 | |
| say ‘Welcome!’ | ||
| SPEED | Come on, you madcap, I’ll to the alehouse with you | |
| presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou | ||
| shalt have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how | ||
| did thy master part with Madam Julia? | 10 | |
| LAUNCE | Marry, after they closed in earnest, they parted very | |
| fairly in jest. | ||
| SPEED | But shall she marry him? | |
| LAUNCE | No. | |
| SPEED | How then? shall he marry her? | 15 |
| LAUNCE | No, neither. | |
| SPEED | What, are they broken? | |
| LAUNCE | No, they are both as whole as a fish. | |
| SPEED | Why, then, how stands the matter with them? | |
| LAUNCE | Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it | 20 |
| stands well with her. | ||
| SPEED | What an ass art thou! I understand thee not. | |
| LAUNCE | What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My | |
| staff understands me. | ||
| SPEED | What thou sayest? | 25 |
| LAUNCE | Ay, and what I do too: look thee, I’ll but lean, | |
| and my staff understands me. | ||
| SPEED | It stands under thee, indeed. | |
| LAUNCE | Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one. | |
| SPEED | But tell me true, will’t be a match? | 30 |
| LAUNCE | Ask my dog: if he say ay, it will! if he say no, | |
| it will; if he shake his tail and say nothing, it will. | ||
| SPEED | The conclusion is then that it will. | |
| LAUNCE | Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable. | |
| SPEED | ‘Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how sayest | 35 |
| thou, that my master is become a notable lover? | ||
| LAUNCE | I never knew him otherwise. | |
| SPEED | Than how? | |
| LAUNCE | A notable lubber, as thou reportest him to be. | |
| SPEED | Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistakest me. | 40 |
| LAUNCE | Why, fool, I meant not thee; I meant thy master. | |
| SPEED | I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover. | |
| LAUNCE | Why, I tell thee, I care not though he burn himself | |
| in love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; | ||
| if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the | 45 | |
| name of a Christian. | ||
| SPEED | Why? | |
| LAUNCE | Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to | |
| go to the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go? | ||
| SPEED | At thy service. | 50 |
| [Exeunt] | ||
Next: The Two Gentlemen of Verona, Act 2, Scene 6
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Explanatory notes for Act 2, Scene 5
From The Two Gentlemen of Verona. Ed. Israel Gollancz. New York: University Society.
38, 39. how sayest thou:- That is, “What say’st thou to this circumstance?” So in Macbeth, III. iv.: “How say’st thou, that Macduff denies his person at our great bidding?”
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How to cite the explanatory notes:
Shakespeare, William. The Two Gentlemen of Verona. Ed. Israel Gollancz. New York: University Society, 1901.