The Comedy of Errors
ACT IV SCENE IV | A street. | |
[Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus and the Officer] | ||
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Fear me not, man; I will not break away: | |
I’ll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money, | ||
To warrant thee, as I am ‘rested for. | ||
My wife is in a wayward mood to-day, | ||
And will not lightly trust the messenger | 5 | |
That I should be attach’d in Ephesus, | ||
I tell you, ’twill sound harshly in her ears. | ||
[Enter DROMIO of Ephesus with a rope’s-end] | ||
Here comes my man; I think he brings the money. | ||
How now, sir! have you that I sent you for? | ||
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Here’s that, I warrant you, will pay them all. | 10 |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | But where’s the money? | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope. | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope? | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | I’ll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate. | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | To what end did I bid thee hie thee home? | 15 |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | To a rope’s-end, sir; and to that end am I returned. | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | And to that end, sir, I will welcome you. | |
[Beating him] | ||
Officer | Good sir, be patient. | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Nay, ’tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity. | |
Officer | Good, now, hold thy tongue. | 20 |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Nay, rather persuade him to hold his hands. | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Thou whoreson, senseless villain! | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel | |
your blows. | ||
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long | 25 |
ears. I have served him from the hour of my | ||
nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his | ||
hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he | ||
heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me | ||
with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep; | 30 | |
raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with | ||
it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when | ||
I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a | ||
beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath | ||
lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door. | 35 | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder. | |
[Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, the Courtezan, and PINCH] | ||
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Mistress, ‘respice finem,’ respect your end; or | |
rather, the prophecy like the parrot, ‘beware the | ||
rope’s-end.’ | ||
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Wilt thou still talk? | 40 |
[Beating him] | ||
Courtezan | How say you now? is not your husband mad? | |
ADRIANA | His incivility confirms no less. | |
Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer; | ||
Establish him in his true sense again, | ||
And I will please you what you will demand. | 45 | |
LUCIANA | Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks! | |
Courtezan | Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy! | |
PINCH | Give me your hand and let me feel your pulse. | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | There is my hand, and let it feel your ear. | |
[Striking him] | ||
PINCH | I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man, | 50 |
To yield possession to my holy prayers | ||
And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight: | ||
I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven! | ||
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad. | |
ADRIANA | O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul! | 55 |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | You minion, you, are these your customers? | |
Did this companion with the saffron face | ||
Revel and feast it at my house to-day, | ||
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut | ||
And I denied to enter in my house? | 60 | |
ADRIANA | O husband, God doth know you dined at home; | |
Where would you had remain’d until this time, | ||
Free from these slanders and this open shame! | ||
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Dined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou? | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home. | 65 |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Were not my doors lock’d up and I shut out? | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Perdie, your doors were lock’d and you shut out. | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | And did not she herself revile me there? | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Sans fable, she herself reviled you there. | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me? | 70 |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn’d you. | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | And did not I in rage depart from thence? | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | In verity you did; my bones bear witness, | |
That since have felt the vigour of his rage. | ||
ADRIANA | Is’t good to soothe him in these contraries? | 75 |
PINCH | It is no shame: the fellow finds his vein, | |
And yielding to him humours well his frenzy. | ||
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Thou hast suborn’d the goldsmith to arrest me. | |
ADRIANA | Alas, I sent you money to redeem you, | |
By Dromio here, who came in haste for it. | 80 | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Money by me! heart and goodwill you might; | |
But surely master, not a rag of money. | ||
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Went’st not thou to her for a purse of ducats? | |
ADRIANA | He came to me and I deliver’d it. | |
LUCIANA | And I am witness with her that she did. | 85 |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | God and the rope-maker bear me witness | |
That I was sent for nothing but a rope! | ||
PINCH | Mistress, both man and master is possess’d; | |
I know it by their pale and deadly looks: | ||
They must be bound and laid in some dark room. | 90 | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Say, wherefore didst thou lock me forth to-day? | |
And why dost thou deny the bag of gold? | ||
ADRIANA | I did not, gentle husband, lock thee forth. | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | And, gentle master, I received no gold; | |
But I confess, sir, that we were lock’d out. | 95 | |
ADRIANA | Dissembling villain, thou speak’st false in both. | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all; | |
And art confederate with a damned pack | ||
To make a loathsome abject scorn of me: | ||
But with these nails I’ll pluck out these false eyes | 100 | |
That would behold in me this shameful sport. | ||
[ Enter three or four, and offer to bind him. He strives ] | ||
ADRIANA | O, bind him, bind him! let him not come near me. | |
PINCH | More company! The fiend is strong within him. | |
LUCIANA | Ay me, poor man, how pale and wan he looks! | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | What, will you murder me? Thou gaoler, thou, | 105 |
I am thy prisoner: wilt thou suffer them | ||
To make a rescue? | ||
Officer | Masters, let him go | |
He is my prisoner, and you shall not have him. | ||
PINCH | Go bind this man, for he is frantic too. | 110 |
[They offer to bind Dromio of Ephesus] | ||
ADRIANA | What wilt thou do, thou peevish officer? | |
Hast thou delight to see a wretched man | ||
Do outrage and displeasure to himself? | ||
Officer | He is my prisoner: if I let him go, | |
The debt he owes will be required of me. | 115 | |
ADRIANA | I will discharge thee ere I go from thee: | |
Bear me forthwith unto his creditor, | ||
And, knowing how the debt grows, I will pay it. | ||
Good master doctor, see him safe convey’d | ||
Home to my house. O most unhappy day! | 120 | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | O most unhappy strumpet! | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Master, I am here entered in bond for you. | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS | Out on thee, villain! wherefore dost thou mad me? | |
DROMIO OF EPHESUS | Will you be bound for nothing? be mad, good master: | |
cry ‘The devil!’ | 125 | |
LUCIANA | God help, poor souls, how idly do they talk! | |
ADRIANA | Go bear him hence. Sister, go you with me. | |
[ Exeunt all but Adriana, Luciana, Officer and Courtezan ] | ||
Say now, whose suit is he arrested at? | ||
Officer | One Angelo, a goldsmith: do you know him? | |
ADRIANA | I know the man. What is the sum he owes? | 130 |
Officer | Two hundred ducats. | |
ADRIANA | Say, how grows it due? | |
Officer | Due for a chain your husband had of him. | |
ADRIANA | He did bespeak a chain for me, but had it not. | |
Courtezan | When as your husband all in rage to-day | 135 |
Came to my house and took away my ring– | ||
The ring I saw upon his finger now– | ||
Straight after did I meet him with a chain. | ||
ADRIANA | It may be so, but I did never see it. | |
Come, gaoler, bring me where the goldsmith is: | 140 | |
I long to know the truth hereof at large. | ||
[ Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse with his rapier drawn, and DROMIO of Syracuse ] | ||
LUCIANA | God, for thy mercy! they are loose again. | |
ADRIANA | And come with naked swords. | |
Let’s call more help to have them bound again. | ||
Officer | Away! they’ll kill us. | 145 |
[ Exeunt all but Antipholus of Syracuse and Dromio of Syracuse ] | ||
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | I see these witches are afraid of swords. | |
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE | She that would be your wife now ran from you. | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | Come to the Centaur; fetch our stuff from thence: | |
I long that we were safe and sound aboard. | ||
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE | Faith, stay here this night; they will surely do us | 150 |
no harm: you saw they speak us fair, give us gold: | ||
methinks they are such a gentle nation that, but for | ||
the mountain of mad flesh that claims marriage of | ||
me, I could find in my heart to stay here still and | ||
turn witch. | 155 | |
ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE | I will not stay to-night for all the town; | |
Therefore away, to get our stuff aboard. | ||
[Exeunt] |
Next: The Comedy of Errors, Act 5, Scene 1