King Lear
ACT II SCENE II | Before Gloucester’s castle. | |
[Enter KENT and OSWALD, severally] | ||
OSWALD | Good dawning to thee, friend: art of this house? | |
KENT | Ay. | |
OSWALD | Where may we set our horses? | |
KENT | I’ the mire. | |
OSWALD | Prithee, if thou lovest me, tell me. | 5 |
KENT | I love thee not. | |
OSWALD | Why, then, I care not for thee. | |
KENT | If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold, I would make thee | |
care for me. | ||
OSWALD | Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not. | 10 |
KENT | Fellow, I know thee. | |
OSWALD | What dost thou know me for? | |
KENT | A knave; a rascal; an eater of broken meats; a | |
base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, | ||
hundred-pound, filthy, worsted-stocking knave; a | 15 | |
lily-livered, action-taking knave, a whoreson, | ||
glass-gazing, super-serviceable finical rogue; | ||
one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a | ||
bawd, in way of good service, and art nothing but | ||
the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pandar, | 20 | |
and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch: one whom I | ||
will beat into clamorous whining, if thou deniest | ||
the least syllable of thy addition. | ||
OSWALD | Why, what a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail | |
on one that is neither known of thee nor knows thee! | 25 | |
KENT | What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou | |
knowest me! Is it two days ago since I tripped up | ||
thy heels, and beat thee before the king? Draw, you | ||
rogue: for, though it be night, yet the moon | ||
shines; I’ll make a sop o’ the moonshine of you: | 30 | |
draw, you whoreson cullionly barber-monger, draw. | ||
[Drawing his sword] | ||
OSWALD | Away! I have nothing to do with thee. | |
KENT | Draw, you rascal: you come with letters against the | |
king; and take vanity the puppet’s part against the | ||
royalty of her father: draw, you rogue, or I’ll so | 35 | |
carbonado your shanks: draw, you rascal; come your ways. | ||
OSWALD | Help, ho! murder! help! | |
KENT | Strike, you slave; stand, rogue, stand; you neat | |
slave, strike. | ||
[Beating him] | ||
OSWALD | Help, ho! murder! murder! | 40 |
[ Enter EDMUND, with his rapier drawn, CORNWALL, REGAN, GLOUCESTER, and Servants ] | ||
EDMUND | How now! What’s the matter? | |
KENT | With you, goodman boy, an you please: come, I’ll | |
flesh ye; come on, young master. | ||
GLOUCESTER | Weapons! arms! What ‘s the matter here? | |
CORNWALL | Keep peace, upon your lives: | 45 |
He dies that strikes again. What is the matter? | ||
REGAN | The messengers from our sister and the king. | |
CORNWALL | What is your difference? speak. | |
OSWALD | I am scarce in breath, my lord. | |
KENT | No marvel, you have so bestirred your valour. You | 50 |
cowardly rascal, nature disclaims in thee: a | ||
tailor made thee. | ||
CORNWALL | Thou art a strange fellow: a tailor make a man? | |
KENT | Ay, a tailor, sir: a stone-cutter or painter could | |
not have made him so ill, though he had been but two | 55 | |
hours at the trade. | ||
CORNWALL | Speak yet, how grew your quarrel? | |
OSWALD | This ancient ruffian, sir, whose life I have spared | |
at suit of his gray beard,– | ||
KENT | Thou whoreson zed! thou unnecessary letter! My | 60 |
lord, if you will give me leave, I will tread this | ||
unbolted villain into mortar, and daub the wall of | ||
a jakes with him. Spare my gray beard, you wagtail? | ||
CORNWALL | Peace, sirrah! | |
You beastly knave, know you no reverence? | 65 | |
KENT | Yes, sir; but anger hath a privilege. | |
CORNWALL | Why art thou angry? | |
KENT | That such a slave as this should wear a sword, | |
Who wears no honesty. Such smiling rogues as these, | ||
Like rats, oft bite the holy cords a-twain | 70 | |
Which are too intrinse t’ unloose; smooth every passion | ||
That in the natures of their lords rebel; | ||
Bring oil to fire, snow to their colder moods; | ||
Renege, affirm, and turn their halcyon beaks | ||
With every gale and vary of their masters, | 75 | |
Knowing nought, like dogs, but following. | ||
A plague upon your epileptic visage! | ||
Smile you my speeches, as I were a fool? | ||
Goose, if I had you upon Sarum plain, | ||
I’ld drive ye cackling home to Camelot. | 80 | |
CORNWALL | Why, art thou mad, old fellow? | |
GLOUCESTER | How fell you out? say that. | |
KENT | No contraries hold more antipathy | |
Than I and such a knave. | ||
CORNWALL | Why dost thou call him a knave? What’s his offence? | 85 |
KENT | His countenance likes me not. | |
CORNWALL | No more, perchance, does mine, nor his, nor hers. | |
KENT | Sir, ’tis my occupation to be plain: | |
I have seen better faces in my time | ||
Than stands on any shoulder that I see | 90 | |
Before me at this instant. | ||
CORNWALL | This is some fellow, | |
Who, having been praised for bluntness, doth affect | ||
A saucy roughness, and constrains the garb | ||
Quite from his nature: he cannot flatter, he, | 95 | |
An honest mind and plain, he must speak truth! | ||
An they will take it, so; if not, he’s plain. | ||
These kind of knaves I know, which in this plainness | ||
Harbour more craft and more corrupter ends | ||
Than twenty silly ducking observants | 100 | |
That stretch their duties nicely. | ||
KENT | Sir, in good sooth, in sincere verity, | |
Under the allowance of your great aspect, | ||
Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant fire | ||
On flickering Phoebus’ front,– | 105 | |
CORNWALL | What mean’st by this? | |
KENT | To go out of my dialect, which you | |
discommend so much. I know, sir, I am no | ||
flatterer: he that beguiled you in a plain | ||
accent was a plain knave; which for my part | 110 | |
I will not be, though I should win your displeasure | ||
to entreat me to ‘t. | ||
CORNWALL | What was the offence you gave him? | |
OSWALD | I never gave him any: | |
It pleased the king his master very late | 115 | |
To strike at me, upon his misconstruction; | ||
When he, conjunct and flattering his displeasure, | ||
Tripp’d me behind; being down, insulted, rail’d, | ||
And put upon him such a deal of man, | ||
That worthied him, got praises of the king | 120 | |
For him attempting who was self-subdued; | ||
And, in the fleshment of this dread exploit, | ||
Drew on me here again. | ||
KENT | None of these rogues and cowards | |
But Ajax is their fool. | 125 | |
CORNWALL | Fetch forth the stocks! | |
You stubborn ancient knave, you reverend braggart, | ||
We’ll teach you– | ||
KENT | Sir, I am too old to learn: | |
Call not your stocks for me: I serve the king; | 130 | |
On whose employment I was sent to you: | ||
You shall do small respect, show too bold malice | ||
Against the grace and person of my master, | ||
Stocking his messenger. | ||
CORNWALL | Fetch forth the stocks! As I have life and honour, | 135 |
There shall he sit till noon. | ||
REGAN | Till noon! till night, my lord; and all night too. | |
KENT | Why, madam, if I were your father’s dog, | |
You should not use me so. | ||
REGAN | Sir, being his knave, I will. | 140 |
CORNWALL | This is a fellow of the self-same colour | |
Our sister speaks of. Come, bring away the stocks! | ||
[Stocks brought out] | ||
GLOUCESTER | Let me beseech your grace not to do so: | |
His fault is much, and the good king his master | ||
Will cheque him for ‘t: your purposed low correction | 145 | |
Is such as basest and contemned’st wretches | ||
For pilferings and most common trespasses | ||
Are punish’d with: the king must take it ill, | ||
That he’s so slightly valued in his messenger, | ||
Should have him thus restrain’d. | 150 | |
CORNWALL | I’ll answer that. | |
REGAN | My sister may receive it much more worse, | |
To have her gentleman abused, assaulted, | ||
For following her affairs. Put in his legs. | ||
[KENT is put in the stocks] | ||
Come, my good lord, away. | 155 | |
[Exeunt all but GLOUCESTER and KENT] | ||
GLOUCESTER | I am sorry for thee, friend; ’tis the duke’s pleasure, | |
Whose disposition, all the world well knows, | ||
Will not be rubb’d nor stopp’d: I’ll entreat for thee. | ||
KENT | Pray, do not, sir: I have watched and travell’d hard; | |
Some time I shall sleep out, the rest I’ll whistle. | 160 | |
A good man’s fortune may grow out at heels: | ||
Give you good morrow! | ||
GLOUCESTER | The duke’s to blame in this; ’twill be ill taken. | |
[Exit] | ||
KENT | Good king, that must approve the common saw, | |
Thou out of heaven’s benediction comest | 165 | |
To the warm sun! | ||
Approach, thou beacon to this under globe, | ||
That by thy comfortable beams I may | ||
Peruse this letter! Nothing almost sees miracles | ||
But misery: I know ’tis from Cordelia, | 170 | |
Who hath most fortunately been inform’d | ||
Of my obscured course; and shall find time | ||
From this enormous state, seeking to give | ||
Losses their remedies. All weary and o’erwatch’d, | ||
Take vantage, heavy eyes, not to behold | 175 | |
This shameful lodging. | ||
Fortune, good night: smile once more: turn thy wheel! | ||
[Sleeps] |
King Lear, Act 2, Scene 3