King Lear
ACT I SCENE V | Court before the same. | |
[Enter KING LEAR, KENT, and Fool] | ||
KING LEAR | Go you before to Gloucester with these letters. | |
Acquaint my daughter no further with any thing you | ||
know than comes from her demand out of the letter. | ||
If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there afore you. | ||
KENT | I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered | 5 |
your letter. | ||
[Exit] | ||
Fool | If a man’s brains were in’s heels, were’t not in | |
danger of kibes? | ||
KING LEAR | Ay, boy. | |
Fool | Then, I prithee, be merry; thy wit shall ne’er go | 10 |
slip-shod. | ||
KING LEAR | Ha, ha, ha! | |
Fool | Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly; | |
for though she’s as like this as a crab’s like an | ||
apple, yet I can tell what I can tell. | 15 | |
KING LEAR | Why, what canst thou tell, my boy? | |
Fool | She will taste as like this as a crab does to a | |
crab. Thou canst tell why one’s nose stands i’ | ||
the middle on’s face? | ||
KING LEAR | No. | 20 |
Fool | Why, to keep one’s eyes of either side’s nose; that | |
what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into. | ||
KING LEAR | I did her wrong– | |
Fool | Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell? | |
KING LEAR | No. | 25 |
Fool | Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house. | |
KING LEAR | Why? | |
Fool | Why, to put his head in; not to give it away to his | |
daughters, and leave his horns without a case. | ||
KING LEAR | I will forget my nature. So kind a father! Be my | 30 |
horses ready? | ||
Fool | Thy asses are gone about ’em. The reason why the | |
seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason. | ||
KING LEAR | Because they are not eight? | |
Fool | Yes, indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool. | 35 |
KING LEAR | To take ‘t again perforce! Monster ingratitude! | |
Fool | If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’ld have thee beaten | |
for being old before thy time. | ||
KING LEAR | How’s that? | |
Fool | Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst | 40 |
been wise. | ||
KING LEAR | O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven | |
Keep me in temper: I would not be mad! | ||
[Enter Gentleman] | ||
How now! are the horses ready? | ||
Gentleman | Ready, my lord. | 45 |
KING LEAR | Come, boy. | |
Fool | She that’s a maid now, and laughs at my departure, | |
Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter. | ||
[Exeunt] |
King Lear, Act 2, Scene 1