King Lear
| ACT I SCENE V | Court before the same. | |
| [Enter KING LEAR, KENT, and Fool] | ||
| KING LEAR | Go you before to Gloucester with these letters. | |
| Acquaint my daughter no further with any thing you | ||
| know than comes from her demand out of the letter. | ||
| If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there afore you. | ||
| KENT | I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered | 5 |
| your letter. | ||
| [Exit] | ||
| Fool | If a man’s brains were in’s heels, were’t not in | |
| danger of kibes? | ||
| KING LEAR | Ay, boy. | |
| Fool | Then, I prithee, be merry; thy wit shall ne’er go | 10 |
| slip-shod. | ||
| KING LEAR | Ha, ha, ha! | |
| Fool | Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly; | |
| for though she’s as like this as a crab’s like an | ||
| apple, yet I can tell what I can tell. | 15 | |
| KING LEAR | Why, what canst thou tell, my boy? | |
| Fool | She will taste as like this as a crab does to a | |
| crab. Thou canst tell why one’s nose stands i’ | ||
| the middle on’s face? | ||
| KING LEAR | No. | 20 |
| Fool | Why, to keep one’s eyes of either side’s nose; that | |
| what a man cannot smell out, he may spy into. | ||
| KING LEAR | I did her wrong– | |
| Fool | Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell? | |
| KING LEAR | No. | 25 |
| Fool | Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house. | |
| KING LEAR | Why? | |
| Fool | Why, to put his head in; not to give it away to his | |
| daughters, and leave his horns without a case. | ||
| KING LEAR | I will forget my nature. So kind a father! Be my | 30 |
| horses ready? | ||
| Fool | Thy asses are gone about ’em. The reason why the | |
| seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason. | ||
| KING LEAR | Because they are not eight? | |
| Fool | Yes, indeed: thou wouldst make a good fool. | 35 |
| KING LEAR | To take ‘t again perforce! Monster ingratitude! | |
| Fool | If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’ld have thee beaten | |
| for being old before thy time. | ||
| KING LEAR | How’s that? | |
| Fool | Thou shouldst not have been old till thou hadst | 40 |
| been wise. | ||
| KING LEAR | O, let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven | |
| Keep me in temper: I would not be mad! | ||
| [Enter Gentleman] | ||
| How now! are the horses ready? | ||
| Gentleman | Ready, my lord. | 45 |
| KING LEAR | Come, boy. | |
| Fool | She that’s a maid now, and laughs at my departure, | |
| Shall not be a maid long, unless things be cut shorter. | ||
| [Exeunt] | ||
King Lear, Act 2, Scene 1