All’s Well That Ends Well
| ACT III SCENE VI | Camp before Florence. | |
| [Enter BERTRAM and the two French Lords] | ||
| Second Lord | Nay, good my lord, put him to’t; let him have his | |
| way. | ||
| First Lord | If your lordship find him not a hilding, hold me no | |
| more in your respect. | ||
| Second Lord | On my life, my lord, a bubble. | 5 |
| BERTRAM | Do you think I am so far deceived in him? | |
| Second Lord | Believe it, my lord, in mine own direct knowledge, | |
| without any malice, but to speak of him as my | ||
| kinsman, he’s a most notable coward, an infinite and | ||
| endless liar, an hourly promise-breaker, the owner | 10 | |
| of no one good quality worthy your lordship’s | ||
| entertainment. | ||
| First Lord | It were fit you knew him; lest, reposing too far in | |
| his virtue, which he hath not, he might at some | ||
| great and trusty business in a main danger fail you. | 15 | |
| BERTRAM | I would I knew in what particular action to try him. | |
| First Lord | None better than to let him fetch off his drum, | |
| which you hear him so confidently undertake to do. | ||
| Second Lord | I, with a troop of Florentines, will suddenly | |
| surprise him; such I will have, whom I am sure he | 20 | |
| knows not from the enemy: we will bind and hoodwink | ||
| him so, that he shall suppose no other but that he | ||
| is carried into the leaguer of the adversaries, when | ||
| we bring him to our own tents. Be but your lordship | ||
| present at his examination: if he do not, for the | 25 | |
| promise of his life and in the highest compulsion of | ||
| base fear, offer to betray you and deliver all the | ||
| intelligence in his power against you, and that with | ||
| the divine forfeit of his soul upon oath, never | ||
| trust my judgment in any thing. | 30 | |
| First Lord | O, for the love of laughter, let him fetch his drum; | |
| he says he has a stratagem for’t: when your | ||
| lordship sees the bottom of his success in’t, and to | ||
| what metal this counterfeit lump of ore will be | ||
| melted, if you give him not John Drum’s | 35 | |
| entertainment, your inclining cannot be removed. | ||
| Here he comes. | ||
| [Enter PAROLLES] | ||
| Second Lord | [Aside to BERTRAM] O, for the love of laughter, | |
| hinder not the honour of his design: let him fetch | ||
| off his drum in any hand. | 40 | |
| BERTRAM | How now, monsieur! this drum sticks sorely in your | |
| disposition. | ||
| First Lord | A pox on’t, let it go; ’tis but a drum. | |
| PAROLLES | ‘But a drum’! is’t ‘but a drum’? A drum so lost! | |
| There was excellent command,–to charge in with our | 45 | |
| horse upon our own wings, and to rend our own soldiers! | ||
| First Lord | That was not to be blamed in the command of the | |
| service: it was a disaster of war that Caesar | ||
| himself could not have prevented, if he had been | ||
| there to command. | 50 | |
| BERTRAM | Well, we cannot greatly condemn our success: some | |
| dishonour we had in the loss of that drum; but it is | ||
| not to be recovered. | ||
| PAROLLES | It might have been recovered. | |
| BERTRAM | It might; but it is not now. | 55 |
| PAROLLES | It is to be recovered: but that the merit of | |
| service is seldom attributed to the true and exact | ||
| performer, I would have that drum or another, or | ||
| ‘hic jacet.’ | ||
| BERTRAM | Why, if you have a stomach, to’t, monsieur: if you | 60 |
| think your mystery in stratagem can bring this | ||
| instrument of honour again into his native quarter, | ||
| be magnanimous in the enterprise and go on; I will | ||
| grace the attempt for a worthy exploit: if you | ||
| speed well in it, the duke shall both speak of it. | 65 | |
| and extend to you what further becomes his | ||
| greatness, even to the utmost syllable of your | ||
| worthiness. | ||
| PAROLLES | By the hand of a soldier, I will undertake it. | |
| BERTRAM | But you must not now slumber in it. | 70 |
| PAROLLES | I’ll about it this evening: and I will presently | |
| pen down my dilemmas, encourage myself in my | ||
| certainty, put myself into my mortal preparation; | ||
| and by midnight look to hear further from me. | ||
| BERTRAM | May I be bold to acquaint his grace you are gone about it? | 75 |
| PAROLLES | I know not what the success will be, my lord; but | |
| the attempt I vow. | ||
| BERTRAM | I know thou’rt valiant; and, to the possibility of | |
| thy soldiership, will subscribe for thee. Farewell. | ||
| PAROLLES | I love not many words. | 80 |
| [Exit] | ||
| Second Lord | No more than a fish loves water. Is not this a | |
| strange fellow, my lord, that so confidently seems | ||
| to undertake this business, which he knows is not to | ||
| be done; damns himself to do and dares better be | ||
| damned than to do’t? | 85 | |
| First Lord | You do not know him, my lord, as we do: certain it | |
| is that he will steal himself into a man’s favour and | ||
| for a week escape a great deal of discoveries; but | ||
| when you find him out, you have him ever after. | ||
| BERTRAM | Why, do you think he will make no deed at all of | 90 |
| this that so seriously he does address himself unto? | ||
| Second Lord | None in the world; but return with an invention and | |
| clap upon you two or three probable lies: but we | ||
| have almost embossed him; you shall see his fall | ||
| to-night; for indeed he is not for your lordship’s respect. | 95 | |
| First Lord | We’ll make you some sport with the fox ere we case | |
| him. He was first smoked by the old lord Lafeu: | ||
| when his disguise and he is parted, tell me what a | ||
| sprat you shall find him; which you shall see this | ||
| very night. | 100 | |
| Second Lord | I must go look my twigs: he shall be caught. | |
| BERTRAM | Your brother he shall go along with me. | |
| Second Lord | As’t please your lordship: I’ll leave you. | |
| [Exit] | ||
| BERTRAM | Now will I lead you to the house, and show you | |
| The lass I spoke of. | 105 | |
| First Lord | But you say she’s honest. | |
| BERTRAM | That’s all the fault: I spoke with her but once | |
| And found her wondrous cold; but I sent to her, | ||
| By this same coxcomb that we have i’ the wind, | ||
| Tokens and letters which she did re-send; | 110 | |
| And this is all I have done. She’s a fair creature: | ||
| Will you go see her? | ||
| First Lord | With all my heart, my lord. | |
| [Exeunt] | ||
Next: All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 3, Scene 7