Love’s Labour’s Lost
| ACT I SCENE II | The same. | |
| Enter DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO and MOTH. | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Boy, what sign is it when a man of great spirit | |
| grows melancholy? | ||
| MOTH | A great sign, sir, that he will look sad. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Why, sadness is one and the self-same thing, dear imp. | 5 |
| MOTH | No, no; O Lord, sir, no. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | How canst thou part sadness and melancholy, my | |
| tender juvenal? | ||
| MOTH | By a familiar demonstration of the working, my tough senior. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Why tough senior? why tough senior? | 10 |
| MOTH | Why tender juvenal? why tender juvenal? | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I spoke it, tender juvenal, as a congruent epitheton | |
| appertaining to thy young days, which we may | ||
| nominate tender. | ||
| MOTH | And I, tough senior, as an appertinent title to your | 15 |
| old time, which we may name tough. | ||
| DON ADRIANO DEARMADO | Pretty and apt. | |
| MOTH | How mean you, sir? I pretty, and my saying apt? or | |
| I apt, and my saying pretty? | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Thou pretty, because little. | 20 |
| MOTH | Little pretty, because little. Wherefore apt? | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | And therefore apt, because quick. | |
| MOTH | Speak you this in my praise, master? | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | In thy condign praise. | |
| MOTH | I will praise an eel with the same praise. | 25 |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | What, that an eel is ingenious? | |
| MOTH | That an eel is quick. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I do say thou art quick in answers: thou heatest my blood. | |
| MOTH | I am answered, sir. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I love not to be crossed. | 30 |
| MOTH | Aside. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I have promised to study three years with the duke. | |
| MOTH | You may do it in an hour, sir. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Impossible. | |
| MOTH | How many is one thrice told? | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I am ill at reckoning; it fitteth the spirit of a tapster. | 35 |
| MOTH | You are a gentleman and a gamester, sir. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I confess both: they are both the varnish of a | |
| complete man. | ||
| MOTH | Then, I am sure, you know how much the gross sum of | |
| deuce-ace amounts to. | 40 | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | It doth amount to one more than two. | |
| MOTH | Which the base vulgar do call three. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | True. | |
| MOTH | Why, sir, is this such a piece of study? Now here | |
| is three studied, ere ye’ll thrice wink: and how | 45 | |
| easy it is to put ‘years’ to the word ‘three,’ and | ||
| study three years in two words, the dancing horse | ||
| will tell you. | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | A most fine figure! | |
| MOTH | To prove you a cipher. | 50 |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I will hereupon confess I am in love: and as it is | |
| base for a soldier to love, so am I in love with a | ||
| base wench. If drawing my sword against the humour | ||
| of affection would deliver me from the reprobate | ||
| thought of it, I would take Desire prisoner, and | 55 | |
| ransom him to any French courtier for a new-devised | ||
| courtesy. I think scorn to sigh: methinks I should | ||
| outswear Cupid. Comfort, me, boy: what great men | ||
| have been in love? | ||
| MOTH | Hercules, master. | 60 |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Most sweet Hercules! More authority, dear boy, name | |
| more; and, sweet my child, let them be men of good | ||
| repute and carriage. | ||
| MOTH | Samson, master: he was a man of good carriage, great | |
| carriage, for he carried the town-gates on his back | 65 | |
| like a porter: and he was in love. | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | O well-knit Samson! strong-jointed Samson! I do | |
| excel thee in my rapier as much as thou didst me in | ||
| carrying gates. I am in love too. Who was Samson’s | ||
| love, my dear Moth? | 70 | |
| MOTH | A woman, master. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Of what complexion? | |
| MOTH | Of all the four, or the three, or the two, or one of the four. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Tell me precisely of what complexion. | |
| MOTH | Of the sea-water green, sir. | 75 |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Is that one of the four complexions? | |
| MOTH | As I have read, sir; and the best of them too. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Green indeed is the colour of lovers; but to have a | |
| love of that colour, methinks Samson had small reason | ||
| for it. He surely affected her for her wit. | 80 | |
| MOTH | It was so, sir; for she had a green wit. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | My love is most immaculate white and red. | |
| MOTH | Most maculate thoughts, master, are masked under | |
| such colours. | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Define, define, well-educated infant. | 85 |
| MOTH | My father’s wit and my mother’s tongue, assist me! | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Sweet invocation of a child; most pretty and | |
| pathetical! | ||
| MOTH | If she be made of white and red, | |
| Her faults will ne’er be known, | 90 | |
| For blushing cheeks by faults are bred | ||
| And fears by pale white shown: | ||
| Then if she fear, or be to blame, | ||
| By this you shall not know, | ||
| For still her cheeks possess the same | 95 | |
| Which native she doth owe. | ||
| A dangerous rhyme, master, against the reason of | ||
| white and red. | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Is there not a ballad, boy, of the King and the Beggar? | |
| MOTH | The world was very guilty of such a ballad some | 100 |
| three ages since: but I think now ’tis not to be | ||
| found; or, if it were, it would neither serve for | ||
| the writing nor the tune. | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I will have that subject newly writ o’er, that I may | |
| example my digression by some mighty precedent. | 105 | |
| Boy, I do love that country girl that I took in the | ||
| park with the rational hind Costard: she deserves well. | ||
| MOTH | Aside. | |
| my master. | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Sing, boy; my spirit grows heavy in love. | |
| MOTH | And that’s great marvel, loving a light wench. | 110 |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I say, sing. | |
| MOTH | Forbear till this company be past. | |
| Enter DULL, COSTARD, and JAQUENETTA | ||
| DULL | Sir, the duke’s pleasure is, that you keep Costard | |
| safe: and you must suffer him to take no delight | ||
| nor no penance; but a’ must fast three days a week. | 115 | |
| For this damsel, I must keep her at the park: she | ||
| is allowed for the day-woman. Fare you well. | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I do betray myself with blushing. Maid! | |
| JAQUENETTA | Man? | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I will visit thee at the lodge. | 120 |
| JAQUENETTA | That’s hereby. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I know where it is situate. | |
| JAQUENETTA | Lord, how wise you are! | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I will tell thee wonders. | |
| JAQUENETTA | With that face? | 125 |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I love thee. | |
| JAQUENETTA | So I heard you say. | |
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | And so, farewell. | |
| JAQUENETTA | Fair weather after you! | |
| DULL | Come, Jaquenetta, away! | 130 |
| Exeunt DULL and JAQUENETTA | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Villain, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou | |
| be pardoned. | ||
| COSTARD | Well, sir, I hope, when I do it, I shall do it on a | |
| full stomach. | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Thou shalt be heavily punished. | 135 |
| COSTARD | I am more bound to you than your fellows, for they | |
| are but lightly rewarded. | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | Take away this villain; shut him up. | |
| MOTH | Come, you transgressing slave; away! | |
| COSTARD | Let me not be pent up, sir: I will fast, being loose. | 140 |
| MOTH | No, sir; that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison. | |
| COSTARD | Well, if ever I do see the merry days of desolation | |
| that I have seen, some shall see. | ||
| MOTH | What shall some see? | |
| COSTARD | Nay, nothing, Master Moth, but what they look upon. | 145 |
| It is not for prisoners to be too silent in their | ||
| words; and therefore I will say nothing: I thank | ||
| God I have as little patience as another man; and | ||
| therefore I can be quiet. | ||
| Exeunt MOTH and COSTARD. | ||
| DONADRIANO DE ARMADO | I do affect the very ground, which is base, where | 150 |
| her shoe, which is baser, guided by her foot, which | ||
| is basest, doth tread. I shall be forsworn, which | ||
| is a great argument of falsehood, if I love. And | ||
| how can that be true love which is falsely | ||
| attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a devil: | 155 | |
| there is no evil angel but Love. Yet was Samson so | ||
| tempted, and he had an excellent strength; yet was | ||
| Solomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit. | ||
| Cupid’s butt-shaft is too hard for Hercules’ club; | ||
| and therefore too much odds for a Spaniard’s rapier. | 160 | |
| The first and second cause will not serve my turn; | ||
| the passado he respects not, the duello he regards | ||
| not: his disgrace is to be called boy; but his | ||
| glory is to subdue men. Adieu, valour! rust rapier! | ||
| be still, drum! for your manager is in love; yea, | 165 | |
| he loveth. Assist me, some extemporal god of rhyme, | ||
| for I am sure I shall turn sonnet. Devise, wit; | ||
| write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio. | ||
| Exit |
Love’s Labour’s Lost, Act 2, Scene 1