All’s Well That Ends Well
ACT IV SCENE V | Rousillon. The COUNT’s palace. | |
[Enter COUNTESS, LAFEU, and Clown] | ||
LAFEU | No, no, no, your son was misled with a snipt-taffeta | |
fellow there, whose villanous saffron would have | ||
made all the unbaked and doughy youth of a nation in | ||
his colour: your daughter-in-law had been alive at | ||
this hour, and your son here at home, more advanced | 5 | |
by the king than by that red-tailed humble-bee I speak of. | ||
COUNTESS | I would I had not known him; it was the death of the | |
most virtuous gentlewoman that ever nature had | ||
praise for creating. If she had partaken of my | ||
flesh, and cost me the dearest groans of a mother, I | 10 | |
could not have owed her a more rooted love. | ||
LAFEU | ‘Twas a good lady, ’twas a good lady: we may pick a | |
thousand salads ere we light on such another herb. | ||
Clown | Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the | |
salad, or rather, the herb of grace. | 15 | |
LAFEU | They are not herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs. | |
Clown | I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not much | |
skill in grass. | ||
LAFEU | Whether dost thou profess thyself, a knave or a fool? | |
Clown | A fool, sir, at a woman’s service, and a knave at a man’s. | 20 |
LAFEU | Your distinction? | |
Clown | I would cozen the man of his wife and do his service. | |
LAFEU | So you were a knave at his service, indeed. | |
Clown | And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, to do her service. | |
LAFEU | I will subscribe for thee, thou art both knave and fool. | 25 |
Clown | At your service. | |
LAFEU | No, no, no. | |
Clown | Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as | |
great a prince as you are. | ||
LAFEU | Who’s that? a Frenchman? | 30 |
Clown | Faith, sir, a’ has an English name; but his fisnomy | |
is more hotter in France than there. | ||
LAFEU | What prince is that? | |
Clown | The black prince, sir; alias, the prince of | |
darkness; alias, the devil. | 35 | |
LAFEU | Hold thee, there’s my purse: I give thee not this | |
to suggest thee from thy master thou talkest of; | ||
serve him still. | ||
Clown | I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved a | |
great fire; and the master I speak of ever keeps a | 40 | |
good fire. But, sure, he is the prince of the | ||
world; let his nobility remain in’s court. I am for | ||
the house with the narrow gate, which I take to be | ||
too little for pomp to enter: some that humble | ||
themselves may; but the many will be too chill and | 45 | |
tender, and they’ll be for the flowery way that | ||
leads to the broad gate and the great fire. | ||
LAFEU | Go thy ways, I begin to be aweary of thee; and I | |
tell thee so before, because I would not fall out | ||
with thee. Go thy ways: let my horses be well | 50 | |
looked to, without any tricks. | ||
Clown | If I put any tricks upon ’em, sir, they shall be | |
jades’ tricks; which are their own right by the law of nature. | ||
[Exit] | ||
LAFEU | A shrewd knave and an unhappy. | |
COUNTESS | So he is. My lord that’s gone made himself much | 55 |
sport out of him: by his authority he remains here, | ||
which he thinks is a patent for his sauciness; and, | ||
indeed, he has no pace, but runs where he will. | ||
LAFEU | I like him well; ’tis not amiss. And I was about to | |
tell you, since I heard of the good lady’s death and | 60 | |
that my lord your son was upon his return home, I | ||
moved the king my master to speak in the behalf of | ||
my daughter; which, in the minority of them both, | ||
his majesty, out of a self-gracious remembrance, did | ||
first propose: his highness hath promised me to do | 65 | |
it: and, to stop up the displeasure he hath | ||
conceived against your son, there is no fitter | ||
matter. How does your ladyship like it? | ||
COUNTESS | With very much content, my lord; and I wish it | |
happily effected. | 70 | |
LAFEU | His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as able | |
body as when he numbered thirty: he will be here | ||
to-morrow, or I am deceived by him that in such | ||
intelligence hath seldom failed. | ||
COUNTESS | It rejoices me, that I hope I shall see him ere I | 75 |
die. I have letters that my son will be here | ||
to-night: I shall beseech your lordship to remain | ||
with me till they meet together. | ||
LAFEU | Madam, I was thinking with what manners I might | |
safely be admitted. | 80 | |
COUNTESS | You need but plead your honourable privilege. | |
LAFEU | Lady, of that I have made a bold charter; but I | |
thank my God it holds yet. | ||
[Re-enter Clown] | ||
Clown | O madam, yonder’s my lord your son with a patch of | |
velvet on’s face: whether there be a scar under’t | 85 | |
or no, the velvet knows; but ’tis a goodly patch of | ||
velvet: his left cheek is a cheek of two pile and a | ||
half, but his right cheek is worn bare. | ||
LAFEU | A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery | |
of honour; so belike is that. | 90 | |
Clown | But it is your carbonadoed face. | |
LAFEU | Let us go see your son, I pray you: I long to talk | |
with the young noble soldier. | ||
Clown | Faith there’s a dozen of ’em, with delicate fine | |
hats and most courteous feathers, which bow the head | 95 | |
and nod at every man. | ||
[Exeunt] |
Next: All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 5, Scene 1