All’s Well That Ends Well
| ACT IV SCENE V | Rousillon. The COUNT’s palace. | |
| [Enter COUNTESS, LAFEU, and Clown] | ||
| LAFEU | No, no, no, your son was misled with a snipt-taffeta | |
| fellow there, whose villanous saffron would have | ||
| made all the unbaked and doughy youth of a nation in | ||
| his colour: your daughter-in-law had been alive at | ||
| this hour, and your son here at home, more advanced | 5 | |
| by the king than by that red-tailed humble-bee I speak of. | ||
| COUNTESS | I would I had not known him; it was the death of the | |
| most virtuous gentlewoman that ever nature had | ||
| praise for creating. If she had partaken of my | ||
| flesh, and cost me the dearest groans of a mother, I | 10 | |
| could not have owed her a more rooted love. | ||
| LAFEU | ‘Twas a good lady, ’twas a good lady: we may pick a | |
| thousand salads ere we light on such another herb. | ||
| Clown | Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the | |
| salad, or rather, the herb of grace. | 15 | |
| LAFEU | They are not herbs, you knave; they are nose-herbs. | |
| Clown | I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir; I have not much | |
| skill in grass. | ||
| LAFEU | Whether dost thou profess thyself, a knave or a fool? | |
| Clown | A fool, sir, at a woman’s service, and a knave at a man’s. | 20 |
| LAFEU | Your distinction? | |
| Clown | I would cozen the man of his wife and do his service. | |
| LAFEU | So you were a knave at his service, indeed. | |
| Clown | And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, to do her service. | |
| LAFEU | I will subscribe for thee, thou art both knave and fool. | 25 |
| Clown | At your service. | |
| LAFEU | No, no, no. | |
| Clown | Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as | |
| great a prince as you are. | ||
| LAFEU | Who’s that? a Frenchman? | 30 |
| Clown | Faith, sir, a’ has an English name; but his fisnomy | |
| is more hotter in France than there. | ||
| LAFEU | What prince is that? | |
| Clown | The black prince, sir; alias, the prince of | |
| darkness; alias, the devil. | 35 | |
| LAFEU | Hold thee, there’s my purse: I give thee not this | |
| to suggest thee from thy master thou talkest of; | ||
| serve him still. | ||
| Clown | I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved a | |
| great fire; and the master I speak of ever keeps a | 40 | |
| good fire. But, sure, he is the prince of the | ||
| world; let his nobility remain in’s court. I am for | ||
| the house with the narrow gate, which I take to be | ||
| too little for pomp to enter: some that humble | ||
| themselves may; but the many will be too chill and | 45 | |
| tender, and they’ll be for the flowery way that | ||
| leads to the broad gate and the great fire. | ||
| LAFEU | Go thy ways, I begin to be aweary of thee; and I | |
| tell thee so before, because I would not fall out | ||
| with thee. Go thy ways: let my horses be well | 50 | |
| looked to, without any tricks. | ||
| Clown | If I put any tricks upon ’em, sir, they shall be | |
| jades’ tricks; which are their own right by the law of nature. | ||
| [Exit] | ||
| LAFEU | A shrewd knave and an unhappy. | |
| COUNTESS | So he is. My lord that’s gone made himself much | 55 |
| sport out of him: by his authority he remains here, | ||
| which he thinks is a patent for his sauciness; and, | ||
| indeed, he has no pace, but runs where he will. | ||
| LAFEU | I like him well; ’tis not amiss. And I was about to | |
| tell you, since I heard of the good lady’s death and | 60 | |
| that my lord your son was upon his return home, I | ||
| moved the king my master to speak in the behalf of | ||
| my daughter; which, in the minority of them both, | ||
| his majesty, out of a self-gracious remembrance, did | ||
| first propose: his highness hath promised me to do | 65 | |
| it: and, to stop up the displeasure he hath | ||
| conceived against your son, there is no fitter | ||
| matter. How does your ladyship like it? | ||
| COUNTESS | With very much content, my lord; and I wish it | |
| happily effected. | 70 | |
| LAFEU | His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as able | |
| body as when he numbered thirty: he will be here | ||
| to-morrow, or I am deceived by him that in such | ||
| intelligence hath seldom failed. | ||
| COUNTESS | It rejoices me, that I hope I shall see him ere I | 75 |
| die. I have letters that my son will be here | ||
| to-night: I shall beseech your lordship to remain | ||
| with me till they meet together. | ||
| LAFEU | Madam, I was thinking with what manners I might | |
| safely be admitted. | 80 | |
| COUNTESS | You need but plead your honourable privilege. | |
| LAFEU | Lady, of that I have made a bold charter; but I | |
| thank my God it holds yet. | ||
| [Re-enter Clown] | ||
| Clown | O madam, yonder’s my lord your son with a patch of | |
| velvet on’s face: whether there be a scar under’t | 85 | |
| or no, the velvet knows; but ’tis a goodly patch of | ||
| velvet: his left cheek is a cheek of two pile and a | ||
| half, but his right cheek is worn bare. | ||
| LAFEU | A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery | |
| of honour; so belike is that. | 90 | |
| Clown | But it is your carbonadoed face. | |
| LAFEU | Let us go see your son, I pray you: I long to talk | |
| with the young noble soldier. | ||
| Clown | Faith there’s a dozen of ’em, with delicate fine | |
| hats and most courteous feathers, which bow the head | 95 | |
| and nod at every man. | ||
| [Exeunt] | ||
Next: All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 5, Scene 1